#148 Top 10 Proven Ways to Feel Happier Now
March 6th, 2016 by Dr. John DayPodcast: Play in new window | Download
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Top 10 Proven Ways to Feel Happier Now
Have you ever wondered what the secret to a happy life is? Do you want to feel happier now? If so, keep reading.
A lack of happiness in your life is a known risk factor for heart attacks, arrhythmias, and dementia. In this article, I share the top 10 scientifically proven ways to feel happier now.
Broken Heart Syndrome
Mary suddenly had difficulties breathing after her husband of 40 years died. She was also suffering from a rapid heart beat and chest discomfort.
“I miss him so much,” she said. “I just keep thinking of him. I can’t sleep and I don’t want to even leave my home.”
“We need to get you into the hospital,” I advised, “to figure out what is going on.”
Mary reluctantly agreed. After some tests it was obvious what was going on. Mary was suffering from the broken heart syndrome or Takotsubo cardiomyopathy.
In Japanese, tako-tsubo means an octopus trap. Indeed, with extreme sadness or stress the heart actually changes shape to look like the Japanese octopus trap. Fortunately, once the sadness or stress resolves, the heart returns back to its normal shape.
While milder forms of sadness are unlikely to cause Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, it is still a risk to your long-term health.
Do your genes predict your happiness set point?
Many people mistakingly believe that they have no control over their happiness. While it is true that genes matter, at most, only 50% of your happiness is influenced by your genes.
Based on my own genetic analysis, I found that I carry most of the depression genes. As I have learned, the daily choices you make have a far greater impact on your overall happiness than the genes you were dealt.
Secrets to a Happy Life
What is the secret to a happy life? The answer may come from a study that closely followed 268 Harvard students for 75 years.
Little did these 268 Harvard students know, back in 1939 to 1944, what they were in for when they agreed to participate in this study. Researchers carefully tracked every detail of their lives right up until their deaths.
Interestingly, our former president, John F. Kennedy, was one of the 268 people in this study. Those few surviving study participants have now been tracked by researchers for 75 years and are now well into their 90s.
Here are the 6 secrets to a happy life based on the Harvard Grant Study.
1. Warm and loving relationships were the main predictors of a happy life.
2. Those who maintained their health were happier.
3. Having a perspective or purpose to life helped with life challenges.
4. Finding satisfaction in your work was more important than money or power.
5. You can learn to be happy over time even if you had a traumatic childhood.
6. Alcohol and tobacco abuse were the main predictors of divorce, poor health, and an unhappy life.
While these six things can help you feel happier at the end of your life, what can you do now to feel happier? Below are my top 10 proven ways to feel happier now.
Top 10 Proven Ways to Feel Happier Now
1. Daily Gratitudes
Practicing gratitude daily is probably the fastest way to feel happier now. Indeed, studies show that daily gratitudes quickly increase happiness. The key is to focus on what you have rather than what you lack in your life.
Practicing daily gratitudes can be quick and simple. For example, when I have worked with heart patients, I have had them write down three new things they were thankful for each day. I had them focus on “new things” so that their brains would scan their lives for the positive.
Other patients have kept gratitude journals or have downloaded one of the many electronic gratitude journals for their smartphone. Still others have used morning prayer as an opportunity to verbally express their gratitudes.
It really doesn’t matter how you do it. Just start today.
2. Be Nice
As relationships were the key to a happy life in the Harvard Grant Study, the best way to get the most out of your relationships is to be nice. In a famous study, psychology professor emeritus, John M. Gotten, from the University of Washington, could predict whether a marriage would ultimately end in divorce or not just by observing the couple for three minutes.
Professor Gotten found that the key to a happy marriage is to be nice. In other words, happy couples have five positive interactions to every one negative interaction. This same approach works equally well with children, neighbors, or business partners. Thus, to feel happier now, be nice to the people in your life.
3. Schedule a Vacation
We all need vacations to recharge our batteries. The problem is that most Americans don’t use all of their vacation days.
A recent survey showed that Americans only use 51% of their vacation days. I understand, I used to be the same way. While vacations boost happiness, anticipating a vacation may have an even bigger effect.
In a study of 1,530 Dutch, researchers found that just scheduling a vacation made people happy. From this study, it didn’t seem to matter if the vacation was weeks or even months away.
Based on the results of this study, to feel happier now always have a vacation scheduled. Multiple small vacations may boost happiness more than the one big annual trip.
The saying, money can’t buy happiness, may not be entirely correct. Studies show that those who spend money on exerpiences, not more stuff, are happier. So give yourself permission to buy those tickets to that upcoming concert you have dreamed of attending.
4. Exercise
As discussed in my last blog post, when it comes to boosting happiness, exercise is more potent than an antidepressant. Indeed, many studies have now shown that exercise consistently works better than antidepressants.
Exercise increases the feel good endorphins in your brain. Exercise also reduces inflammation. As studies now suggest that depression may be inflammation of the brain, the combination of more endorphins and less inflammation may be the reason why exercise makes you feel happier now.
5. Eat a Mediterranean or Asian Diet
Studies show that what you eat may determine whether you are happy or depressed. For example, those eating a Mediterranean diet, high in vegetables, fruits, fish, nuts, and olive oil, are 32% less likely to be depressed.
Perhaps this explains why countries like Greece and Spain come in at numbers 190 and 191 respectively, when it comes to countries most likely to be depressed. By comparison, the U.S. comes in as the most depressed country in the world.
Alternatively, you could eat like the Asians. The Asian diet is also high in vegetables, fruits, and fish. This way of eating may be one possible explanation why the Japanese come in last place, at number 192, on the most depressed countries list.
As health determines happiness from the Harvard Grant Study, it may be that eating right allows you to feel better now by keeping you healthier.
6. Hang Out with Happy People
Happiness is contagious. Who you spend the most time with may determine how happy you are.
In a landmark study of 4,739 individuals followed for over 20 years, researchers Nicholas A. Christakis and James H. Fowler from Harvard and U.C. San Diego concluded that happiness is determined by social connections. For example, the happiness of your friends, spouse, siblings, or neighbors determines how happy you are.
What should you do if you don’t know any happy people? While you are seeking out positive friends, you could get a pet. Animals are loving and positive. Indeed, studies show that pet ownership can allow you to feel happier now and prevent depression.
7. Smile and Laugh (real or forced)
According to functional MRI studies of the brain, the mere act of smiling makes you happier. In contrast, frowning makes you unhappy.
In a fascinating study, researchers wanted to see if they could boost happiness levels by paralyzing the frowning muscles. To test this hypothesis, researchers injected Botox to block negative facial expressions. As predicted, if you can’t frown you feel happier.
While I certainly am not advocating Botox, there is a lesson from these studies. Smiling is easy. Smiling engenders a friendly response from others. Smiling rewires your brain for happiness and allows you to feel happier now.
Laughter has the same effect. As with a forced smile, studies show that forced laughter also boosts happiness.
Laughter is where I personally struggle. While I used to laugh a lot in my youth, I have become too serious as an adult. Perhaps it is the stress of modern life. Regardless of the cause, my children are helping me to laugh and play more.
8. Make Sleep a Priority
According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), up to 70 million Americans suffer from sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation is a known cause of depression.
In a fascinating study, researchers found that getting one extra hour of sleep had the same effect to your happiness as a $60,000 pay raise. Any parent knows the role that sleep plays in children. For example, based on how much sleep our children get on any given night, Jane and I can predict whether our children will be happy or struggle the following day.
Sleep has the same effects in adults. Studies show that even naps help. If you want to feel happier now, make sleep a priority tonight.
I have found that for most of my patients, the reason why they are sleep deprived is because of screen time at night. Screen time could take the form of the television, computer, or smartphone. Whether it is the blue light emitted from the screen, or the fact that people are going to bed too late, the result is the same. To make sleep a priority, have a screen time curfew in your home.
9. Meditate or Pray
I suspect that right up there with physical inactivity and a poor diet, stress may play a big factor in why the U.S. leads the world in depression. I know I certainly am not happy when I am being crushed by stress.
Being mindful of everything you do is a great way to combat the stresses of modern life. Along these lines, meditation may be a great tool to help boost happiness.
A number of small studies report that meditation increases happiness. Based on these studies, I have tried meditating for the last few years.
While I still struggle with finding time to meditate during the day, I have found that meditating at night has been particularly helpful. Within just a minute or two of meditating, I am fast asleep. While many meditation gurus may disagree with my approach, at least it has helped me with insomnia.
If meditation is not your thing, studies show that prayer has the same effect on happiness. It really doesn’t matter if you meditate or pray, the important thing is that being more mindful will help you to feel happier now.
10. Stop Commuting
The automobile is the scourge of modern life. Princeton University researchers, Daniel Kahneman and Alan B. Krueger, found that commuting, especially the morning commute, was the single activity that caused people the most unhappiness. The Harvard Grant Study found the same thing, a job you don’t love makes you unhappy.
It is hard to tease out how much unhappiness comes from the job and how much from the commute. Based on the Princeton Study, I suspect commuting may be the bigger cause of unhappiness. For example, the Princeton Study showed that the evening commute home caused just as much unhappiness as working.
It has often been said that if you find a job you love that you’ll never work a day in your life. While changing career paths may be difficult for most, eliminating your commute may be a much easier way to happiness.
The goal is to minimize windshield time. Can you work from home a day or two a week? Could you work four 10 hour shifts rather than five eight hour shifts? Could you move closer to your work?
Too often, I have seen my patients buy big homes far from their work, thinking it will make them happier. This approach rarely works. In my experience, it is much better to live in a smaller house without a commute than a mansion with a long daily commute.
Final Thoughts
Contrary to popular belief, our daily choices may have the biggest impact on our happiness. The Harvard Grant Study showed this. Young Harvard students, even those contemplating suicide from unhappy homes, later learned to be some of the happiest people over time.
What helps you to stay positive and upbeat? Please share your experiences with our community below. Also, if you leave your question to this article I will do my best to answer it.